Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Nails are prettier than Ike Turner's

I know, I know...  It's been two days since my last info session, but with the sister here, and so much makeover goodness happening, time got lost on me.  Good news is, I have much to say today!!  There are a few topics that I haven't yet touched on, and should be addressed so that we may hope for a more beautiful world.

** P.S.  Here are a couple of photos of Kate's post makeover hair, as I was told by a couple of birds that the previous blog-entry didn't show this portion of the makeover adequately... Enjoy!

Before we get started, I would like to confess about my most recent "Théa blunder":  It happened on Sunday night, when we were playing in a pretty tightly matched Co-ed soccer game.  I recognize that I turn into a bad person when I play sports as I tend to get very competitive, but the team we were playing (let's call them "The Douches") took it to a whole new level.  Grown men were knocking the women down ON THEIR ASSES, shoving elbows, and overall turning a lil' country on us...  I decided that since my husbo is 6 foot 6", and plays on my team, I was protected, and shoved a little back, and I may have been a tad mouthy...  However, The Douches' goalie absolutely LOST it on me when I got too close to him, and used several profanities while yelling in my face, and generally having an aneurism.  It was actually pretty scary because he was a big dude (not to mention his eye-watering halitosis, and dirty mustachio), but I just blew him a kiss and scattered away.  The girl defending me was standing right by me post runaway, and I, for some unknown reason, said to her "Ike Turner the goalie has some mega rage issues, I just got a taste of one of the domestics filed against him".  Eff My Life, OBVIOUSLY the woman I said this to was his WIFE.  She defended me the whole game, which means we were literally beside each other for the next 40 minutes; it was so awkward as she kept making excuses for him - I didn't know what to say except "just kidding"...  Uff, not good times.  Oh and one more blunder:  A girlfriend of mine was coincidentally driving ahead of me, and pulled over to say hi.  I didn't realize it was her, and thought she was just being a terrible driver and flipped her an AGGRESSIVE bird (like forearm pumping, body leaning style...  I have terrible road rage PS).  As we made eye contact, with my middle finger shaking and my underbite grinding, I realized it was her and tried to immediately scratch my head with said finger.  Good recovery?  Nope - I kept driving, called her, and said "Just kidding!!"  Why does that seem like an appropriate response to every "woops" situation?

Let's talk Nails.  I feel like most women I know have had a stage of wearing acrylic, or gel nails, with the huge square white tips, that make you look like you have talons...  You can't pick up loose change, or really scratch your skin, not to mention typing on a keyboard (the click-clack-click-click-tappity-tapping is grounds for firing IMHO)...  I'll admit that when they are done "correctly", they are BREATHTAKING, and make anyone's hands, even the sausage fingered ladies out there, look long, lean, and elegant.  However, I'm not here to promote the false nail; just the opposite in fact.  As much as a love a well manicured nail (false or natural), I'm actually a mega-fan of the super short, squoval (square with rounded edges) nail.  As a makeup artist, I have to be able to use my digits - when I'm pokin' around someone's eye, it's not good for business to scratch their cornea.  This being said, I still want to fancy up my hands and ensure they have a polished look as they are always in full view, and I'm of the belief that you can tell a lot about a woman's hygiene, and general care by looking at her nails (this applies to men as well).

Now for the good stuff:  (1) My favourite new polish colours include purple-greys, and soft/modern pinks; and (2) the well guarded secret to keeping your polish in tact lies in one product... Nail Tek.  This stuff is life changing for your nails.  It will transform weak, brittle, peeling nails into the stuff nail-dreams are made of.  Follow their guide to figure out what treatment you need, and then take my advice on the technique:

  • For very weak nails, that need some mega help:  Apply one coat on clean nails, then reapply one additional coat every night for 1 week (without removing the previous coats).  At the end of the week, remove all the polish, and start again....  My nails were so paper thin at one point due to a severe nail-butchering in Dubai, that warm running water would leave me wincing in pain.  Doing the aforementioned technique helped me GREATLY in getting my nails back in shape, and making them better than they ever had been.
  • For those of us with weak nails, or just want to make our manicure last longer:  Apply the base coat of your choice, two coats of your favourite polish, wait a few minutes before applying your top coat, and then apply a coat of nail tek:  Five layers people.  Every evening, apply a coat of nail tek to the existing manicure, and your polish will last DAYS LONGER than what you dreamed possible.  It's good stuff.
Now that our phalanges are picture perfect, flipping off people won't be so disgusting.

Stay tuned for tips on taking your makeup from day to night:  That's right, another video is in the making...

xo T  


  1. You really are the most competitive person in sports (you and Flett). It is aggressive, I am surprised Earl even participates in any sporting event with you.

    On to the real business though. If you are doing a video on day to night, then I request an even more important look. The MORNING AFTER. Yep, there are those of us out there that don't wash our face or makeup off at night and some mornings we just want to run out without having to wash our face and start all over. What can we do to just get and go? I don't want any rants about washing my face. I don't want to wash my face, I just want to add another layer and move on with life.

  2. Speaking of nails, I have been meaning to try out this new thing called CalGel, a Japanese nail gel that is actually good for your nails (say what?!) and basically just puts a gel coating on your nails to protect them and make them pretty. You can get all crazy with gradation of colours, sparkles, or just go for clear or french tips. Have you heard anything good/bad about this Miss Thea? I would never try regular acrylic/gel nails, but this seems like a cool option.

  3. Hmmmm... This sounds wondrous, but before taking the leap, ask them If there's any buffing involved in order to put the gel on, then it's NOT good. If they say no, then I would go for it!!