Thursday, June 23, 2011

Human growing

It's time to share the news:  My oven is full - Uterus oven that is - I'm baking a human in there.  Yup, this lil' lady is almost 15 weeks prego, and it's been quite the interesting ride thus far.  I suppose a highlight reel is in order, as it turns out being prego is kinda a big deal.  First, Husbo and I found out about this lil' SURPRISE on our last day in New York.  When we first arrived there, the smell of the street meat trucks made me salivate and I was oddly excited for our daily vendor adventure; however, by the second to last day, the meat trucks started making me gag, and I was convinced they were all conspiring against me and cooking up rotten dog food (hint number one).  I also thought that some of the cocktails we were being served tasted like turpentine (hint two), and I would get random slam-me-in-the-face exhaustion (hint three)...  And thus, after a particularly lovely meal, and before a weird late night show, the Husbo and I bought some pee on a stick tests.  Husbo had them shoved in his pocket the rest of the night, and when we got back to the hotel he told me to take one.  I refused, because for some reason I wanted my "pee to be potent" and convinced him I had to wait until the morning (when we were leaving).

The next morning when I got up, I took one of the tests.  These things are expensive, and I'm a cheapo, so I bought the cheapest set of three...  They're all the same right?  WRONG.  These stupid pee sticks were completely unreadable in their results: "what's a foggy plus sign mean?  Is that a plus sign?  Does that mean "kind of" pregnant?"  Husbo came close to crazy, and force fed me water so that I ended up taking three tests in 30 minutes, all giving the same, cloudy, confusing results.  At this point we had to leave, so it was onto the plane with us, and back to Houston, still unsure as to whether or not I had a human growing inside me.  Upon our arrival, we went straight to the CVS, and the Husbo bought the most expensive, digital pee sticks he could find, and sped home.  Basically he watched over me like a military man (I don't know if military men do that, but I feel like they would) as I peed, and we waited by the stick.  Here's what it looked like:

Seems pretty clear
Somehow we didn't believe it and took 4 more tests.  They all read the same results:  I'm a prego lady.  For the next two weeks, I was nervous, but excited, and still unbelieving a little bit.  I felt EXACTLY the same; I had bouts of feeling tired, and got thirsty a lot, but it's hot in Houston, and I'm a sweater.  I even got a little cocky, and at our first doc appointment, at exactly 6 weeks, I stupidly said "I feel great!  Not nauseas at all, super happy, all is well!"  Idiot.  The moment we left the doc's office, the metallic taste creeped up my throat, and the puking began.

I was one of those a-holes that said, "when I'm pregnant, I'm going to work out every day, and make sure I keep a normal life, and try and eat healthy blah blah blah".  Some higher prego-powers heard me, gave me the finger, and a mean case of wanna-kill-yourself-nausea.  Touché.  9 weeks later, I think things are starting to get better.  Instead of all day nausea, where I couldn't even move my head without throwing up, I now have nighttime, and the occasional afternoon nausea visit.  It got to the point where the Husbo was convinced I had the Ebola virus, and not just growing a Vampire Jubejube (that's what we've lovingly named our lil' growing human:  It's sucking my blood, and is cute like a lil' jubejube.  Fitting, no?), and the doc put me on some stuff that would help me keep my food down.  Oh and this "healthy eating" ignorant goal of mine?  All I could stomach for the past while has been potatoes, rice, crackers, toast, and eggs.  And exercise?  I tried the gym once:  Got rage at everyones' smells (the Husbo calls me his blood hound because my smelling ability is uncanny - the police should hire me for their canine unit), almost passed out and started to cry when there were no magazines for me to read.  Perfect.

On a high note, I have boobs for the first time ever.  Do you know how many nights as a teenager I PRAYED for boobs?!  Like literally bargained with the boob Gods: "I'll stop whining about not having my own phone line if you at least grant me a FULL A cup, and I'll always help old people across the street".  Apparently my offer wasn't good enough, because at 29, I'm built like a 12 year old boy; until, that is, Vampire Jubejube came along, and granted me a full C of booby goodness.  I have terrible boob etiquette though.  I forget that bras are no longer "optional", and don't realize that my low cut shirts, which were once cute, are now slutty (Cleavage has a different effect than boney sternum turns out).  The Husbo lives in fear of my wardrobe malfunctions, and has deemed all my bathing suits inappropriate.  Another plus?  My hair is LUSCIOUS - Silky, thick, and grows like crazy.  I'll take it.

At this point, I'm at that awkward stage, where I don't look pregnant yet, but I have a weird pooch that looks like I just let myself go.  Sometimes I'm tempted to tell randoms that "no, I'm not getting chubby, I'm growing a human a-holes", but the Husbo says, that would be weird, and that no one is thinking that.  I'll take his word for it.

Dugg doesn't know about Jubejube yet.  I think he'll be happy.  I imagine he will fart.

xo T

Monday, June 13, 2011

Poo magnet, teeth whiteners & mascara quests

I'm on the prowl for a good teeth whitener.  I've tried Crest Whitestrips and after one use it feels like someone has taken razor blades to my gums, so that's out.  I've also tried Go Smile and it's results seemed average (although the razor blade gum situation wasn't as bad).  I'm willing to give Go Smile another chance because I tried it 2 years ago, and probably never did the full ten days worth of teeth torture, so I shall keep y'all posted.  In the meantime, if y'all have any teeth whitening tips, I'm listening!

I'm feeling concerned that Dugg isn't missing the Husbo and I at all.  My parents are sending lots of photos of Dugg's Canadian adventure, and I'm pretty sure he's stoked to be at our cabin on a lake in perfect weather, as opposed to sweltering away in the Texas heat.  He's also suspiciously cuddly with people, which I'm choosing to ignore, because I want him to only be that cuddly with me!!  I'm a jealous mum.  One more thing I'm concerned about re Dugg:  As we know from previous blogs, I have a tendency to get Dugg's sh*t on me at least once/month.  This, turns out, is not normal.  It never happens to anyone else.  I'm working on this dilemma:  Poo magnet.
Dugg tanning on the new deck 
Dugg manipulating his grandma into a lil' treat.  I taught him this look.
I have it perfected.  Ask the Husbo.
So the whole fam damn is meeting in Toronto on Thursday to celebrate my mum's 60th and my sister-in-law's getting called to the bar.  Dugg gets to have a week with Mandy, one of my oldest and greatest girlfriends, to play on a farm with horses and various other doggy friends.  Seriously what a life he has.

Here's a few fun pics of the fun that's been going on in the last week or so for me...  It's been lots of exploring, mixed in with some great makeup jobs, and  fun visits from friends!

San Antonio River Walk: Sweating ballz off
One of my best GF's from high school, Sarah, came with her boyf from Austin for my 29th b-day!  
The Husbo took us to a glutinous breaky at my fav place, Benjy's.
One of these things is not like the other...
Sarah looking shrimpy beside my 6'5" Husbo, and her 6'4" boyf.
In makeup news, I've continued my never ending mascara hunt, in hopes of replicating my all time favourite, Maybelline lash stylist, which has been discontinued and kills me.  I was at MAC, helping a friend pick out some eyeshadow colours that would work with her look, and asked the sales lady what mascara she thought "created the most obnoxious lashes".  She directed me towards MAC's Zoom mascara.  My review is this:  I liked that it was a very "wet" mascara, because you could get a lot of product on the lashes quickly, however because of this "wetness" factor, it can also get all over your top eyelid VERY EASILY.  Also, you can't wait for it to dry between coats or it'll be clumpy.  It does lend to a more dramatic lash look, but I don't think I'll be rushing to purchase another one.  Sigh.

I'm off.  Say "yes" to queso.  It's delicious.

xo T

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wanna buy a pig trap? Or how 'bout some potato salad...

My frequency of posting is down.  I may have bitten off more than I can chew when it comes to posting almost every day...  However, I'm trying my bestest to blog when the time arises!  It's been a hectic/great/adventurous little while...  BIG WEDDINGS (9 bridesmaids ++!!) and lots of bridal shoots, which I love.  The Husbo and I also did a quick romantic jaunt to San Antonio for Memorial Day weekend, which was pretty cool; well actually it was scorching hot (100 degrees), and I've never seen so many tourists in my life; but we took the opportunity to order dessert in bed, and of course, my favourite part of staying in a hotel:  Breakfast in bed ($20 toast always tastes better).  We saw the Alamo, and tried to get a feel for the city, but it was sooooo hot, and the line-ups, and people were everywhere, so we just did our own thing, and ended up having a very romantic time.  I also was exposed to my first Buc-ee's: the HUGEST gas station/convenience store/restaurant/grocery/hunting supply/tractor store I've ever seen in my life.  Seriously, for a Canadian girl like me, it was pretty weird to see this PACKED pit stop in the middle of nowhere, with a couple in line in front of me holding a pig trap, and the person behind me buying tampons and a salami plate.

In about an hour, I'm off to Dallas.  I'm excited!!  It'll be my first time there, and I really want to check out a few of the museums, and see the site where JFK was shot.  There's also a mega hipster area that has lots of fun boutiques and restaurants apparently, so I'm stoked to see that (I'm due for a shopping excursion).  With all this travel and excessive heat/sweating, I've started a new makeup/hair routine.  It's serving me well, and I thought I would share it with y'all as the weather is getting warmer almost everywhere in the world, and I have a good couple of tricks to add to your repertoire of Théa-Fication.

Ok, so starting with the hair:  I'm not an every day hair washer.  Don't judge me. but I'm not, nor will I ever be if I can avoid it.  What I've started doing is after washing, I let it air-dry until it's just damp, then I run a little bit of Jojoba oil through the bottom half of my hair as it tames any frizz, and keep things looking polished.  I twist my almost-dry hair into a bun on top of my head to let it finish drying for the next couple of hours.  When I take my hair down, I have loose, luscious waves, and no heat damage or effort... optimal.

Next for the makeup:  With all the sweateing I've been doing, I'm using predominantly mineral makeup;  My favourite being Laura Mercier's Pressed Mineral Powder.  It seems to stay on the best, and I love the finish.  This is followed by LOTS of bronzer, right now I'm obsessed with Bobbi Brown's Rich Cocoa, and concealer.  I fill in my brows, because if I don't I look frightening, and move onto the eyes.  Lately I've been skipping the eyeshadow, and concentrating on smudging a thin line INTO my upper and lower lashes, and blending with my finger so everything is soft and smokey, and then lining my inner rim of my eyes as well so that it deepens the soft lining of the lashes, without looking "made up".  I follow this with a TON of mascara, and the overall effect is a soft, sexy, sultry beachy look.