Let me pick YOU up by your back-fat and see how it feels!

Yesterday afternoon, I picked up my girlfriend's cutey-patootey lil' 9 year old boy from school, with my Dog, Dugg, to have a hangout and doggy play time in the dog park.  There was only one other lady in the park with a HUUUUUGE dog, but Dugg loves the big guys, and I asked the owner if her mammoth dog was a good play mate, and she said "oh yeah", so we came on in.   Within seconds the beast-dog picked up dugg by his back fat (fyi he's a 34 lbs French Bulldog Cross), shook him violently in his TEETH, and slammed him down on the ground.  Dugg let out the worst scream I've ever heard in my 28.5 years of life, and I'm sure will haunt me for months to come, as the dog continued to sink its teeth into Dugg's back, and growl like a terrifying bear.  The owner grabbed her beast-dog by the collar and was yelling and pulling as hard as she could, but the a*^hole was too strong, and wouldn't take his jaws out of Dugg's flesh.  Dugg kept screaming, and I swear he looked at me with his little puppy eyes and said "PLEASE MUM HELP ME!!!".  

I was completely panicked as I had a 57 lb CHILD WITH ME, and my dog was being eaten alive; then some instinct kicked in and I yelled at my friend's little boy to get on the other side of the fence, and booted this beast, that weighed more than me, as hard as I could (I'm a major animal lover and this makes me feel bad, but WTF was I supposed to do?), and he finally let go.  Dugg took a flying leap into my arms, and was shaking so much, but this effing lady still couldn't get a hold of her dog, and with dugg in my arms he started going at me!!!  At this point I yelled like a crazy woman, "ARE YOU F*#KING KIDDING ME???!!!  This STUPID owner finally grabbed her dog, got him on the leash and said "it's a bleeping dog park!" ummmmmm, whhaaaaatttt???  I was so worried about Dugg that I didn't even have a chance to say anything but ask whether her dog had its shots, which she replied "yes" to as she literally RAN AWAY.

This woman was wearing UGGS - She was not some vagabond who didn't know better (because Uggs are a good Socio-Economic Status Indicator?), and I've spent the last 15 hours REELING over what I should have said to this insane woman.  Anyways, I had to get that off my chest...  Dugg's ok; he has 4 puncture wounds, which I've thoroughly cleaned, and I'm baby-ing him.  He won't leave my side and he was a super snuggle bunny all afternoon, last night, and this morning.

Who attacks something as ADORABLE AS THIS?????

Dugg laughing really hard

Dugg being a dirt bag

Dugg giving sexy eyes

This made me worried about how I'm gonna deal with having children?  I mean, my protective instinct kicked in pretty hard...  I can just see myself going to my kid's nursery school, cornering some poor brat, threatening him to within an inch of his life, and making him pee his pants for teasing my lil' guy!  Uff, I'll have to reel that in.

So, now that my rage is out (kinda), let's talk about a little thing called acne.  I was one of the lucky ones to escape acne as a teen...  I am so grateful to have been spared acne at that juncture, as I was already painfully insecure, and dealing with that probably would have lead me to swallowing quarters or something...  HOWEVER, I didn't quite escape the old adult acne.  

When I was 26, and living in Dubai, I noticed some under-the-skin bumps, that were really sensitive to touch on my "side burn" area.  I chalked it up to my skin reacting to the crazy heat; but, quite quickly these underground bumps turned into a full on acne situation, and I had what I referred to as an "acne beard".  My main problem areas were literally where a man grows "mutton chops", and on my forehead.  I was AGHAST, and so incredibly self conscious.  I was thankful that I knew how to apply makeup in a way to conceal some of the situation; however, especially while living in Dubai - the land of superficiality - it was debilitating.

In the Middle East, it's not considered rude to point out certain flaws, as long as it's done in a way that implies sympathy.  I got a lot of "my dear, what happened to your face?", or "Théa, poor girl, that's so ugly.  You should to fix yeah?" ?????????!!!!!!  I wanted to respond with, "oh thank you, I am also so sorry about your unfortunate ass and hook nose", but I was a good girl, and sucked it up.

Because I didn't trust a lot of the doctors in Dubai (whole other story), and I didn't want to go on Birth Control (which was recommended a billion times in all the searches I did) as it makes me nuts, I went on a research CRAZE.  I spent hours googling and reading about other young adults who had all of a sudden developed acne in their 20's - Turns out there's a lot of us!  It was super hard to find a lot of the products people recommended as I was living overseas, but eventually I found the holy grail of acne salvation: Dan Kern, founder of acne.org.  This guy has dedicated his life to helping people with acne, and has a regimen that is amazing.  His system is super straight forward, and saved me from quarter swallowing and insult slaying with my many sympathizers.  I've told a LOT of people about this site, and everyone I've told has had good results.  Now that my skin has calmed down, I don't follow his program exactly anymore; but I do consistently use benzoyl peroxide (2.5%) and jojoba oil...

Rage purging and beauty advice complete.

xo T